The Uncomfortable Truth About Love

Love is the most desired, sung-about, and pursued experience in the world. People build their lives around it, spend fortunes to chase it, and sometimes even die because of it. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: love, as most people define it, is not enough.

We live in a culture that glorifies feelings but ignores responsibility. Society teaches us to chase “falling in love” but rarely trains us to honor commitment, set boundaries, and love in truth. And because of this, marriages collapse, families shatter, and countless lives are ruined.

Love Alone Won’t Save a Marriage

Statistics paint a sobering picture:

• In the United States, nearly half of all marriages end in divorce.

• The most common reasons cited are lack of commitment (75%), infidelity (59%), and too much conflict (57%)(National Library of Medicine, 2020).

  
  

Notice what’s missing—“we didn’t love each other.” The truth is, most couples do love each other. But love by itself doesn’t keep a marriage alive. Commitment, integrity, self-control, and honor do.

When Love Becomes Dangerous

Love without wisdom can be deadly.

• Every year, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience physical violence from an intimate partner (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence).

• In the U.S., nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by someone they “love.”

• Crimes of passion—murders and assaults driven by jealousy or infidelity—account for thousands of deaths annually.

  
  

Many men and women are sitting in prison or lying in graves today because of how they handled “love.” This is why the Bible warns us in Jeremiah 17:9: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

Love with Boundaries

Contrary to popular belief, unconditional love doesn’t mean unconditional tolerance. Loving someone doesn’t mean ignoring abuse, betrayal, or sin.

Even Jesus, who showed the highest form of love, still set boundaries:

• He confronted hypocrisy (Matthew 23).

• He walked away from people who rejected truth (Mark 6:11).

• He commanded us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31)—which assumes self-respect and limits.

  
  

True love is patient and kind (1 Corinthians 13), but it also tells the truth and demands respect.

The Source of True Love

The problem with much of modern love is that it’s rooted in feelings, not faith. Feelings change, but God’s love is eternal.

• 1 John 4:19 says, “We love because He first loved us.”

• Romans 5:8 declares, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

  
  

That is the foundation of real love—not lust, not convenience, not a fairy tale.

Legacy and Love

At the end of the day, love should not destroy your life—it should build it. Love should not blind you to the truth—it should anchor you in truth.

The uncomfortable truth about love is this: unless it’s rooted in Christ, it will fail. Unless it’s anchored in honor, it will collapse. Unless it’s guided by boundaries, it will consume you.

Love is powerful. But love, without God, is dangerous.

That’s why my message is always this: “It all starts with me, so let it be legacy.” If we build our families, marriages, and relationships on the foundation of God’s love, we will leave behind a legacy that lasts.