42 Years, 4 Lessons, and One Legacy: What Life Taught Me Before It Was Too Late

stylesmotivation
Jan 12
3 min read

This week, I turn 42 years old.

And I don’t say that lightly.

Because growing up where I grew up—in the rough parts of Jackson, Mississippi—42 didn’t feel realistic. It didn’t feel promised. It didn’t even feel possible.

Statistically, many people from environments like mine don’t make it this far. According to national data, young men in high-crime, low-income neighborhoods face exponentially higher risks of early death due to violence, accidents, and incarceration. When you combine that with the music we listened to, the lifestyle we saw, and the funerals we attended, longevity felt like fiction.

So this isn’t just a birthday.

It’s a testimony.

This is Part 1 of a two-part reflection:

Part 1: What I’ve learned from being on this earth
Part 2: What I’ve learned about being a man

Here are four life lessons that shaped my legacy.

1. You Might Live Longer Than You Think

When you grow up surrounded by danger, death feels close—and the future feels fake.

I never thought I’d live long.

Listening to rap music, seeing street life up close, watching people die young—it all conditioned me to believe my life would end early. That belief got even stronger when I lost two of my closest friends in a car accident when we were only 15 or 16 years old.

That moment changed me.

I started living recklessly—not because I didn’t care, but because I didn’t think I had time. When you think life will be short, you stop protecting it.

But here’s the truth I learned later:

The lie of an early death can cause you to kill your own future prematurely.

The Bible says:

“With long life I will satisfy him and show him My salvation.” — Psalm 91:16

God had more life for me—even when I couldn’t see it.

And if you’re reading this, He might have more for you too.

2. Life Isn’t Promised—So Take Inventory

Life isn’t guaranteed.

That’s not fear-based.

That’s reality.

When I was in the streets, consequences didn’t matter to me. Jail, death, loss—I didn’t weigh those things. I didn’t value life because I didn’t expect to keep it.

But eventually, life slowed me down.

I lost my wife, and for a season, I gave up. I questioned everything. I sat in grief and silence. But God wasn’t finished with me.

Instead of ending my story, He redirected it.

Out of that pain came creation:

This podcast
Community work
Writing
Speaking
Purpose

The Bible reminds us:

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” — Psalm 90:12

Taking inventory of your life isn’t about regret—it’s about responsibility.

You don’t know what tomorrow holds.

But you do know what today demands.

3. Friends Are Not Everlasting

This one hurts—but it’s necessary.

When I was younger, I called a lot of people my friends. As I got older, I realized many of those relationships were situational, transactional, or destructive.

Some people were never rooting for me.

Some were only around for convenience.

Some benefited more from me than I ever benefited from them.

And the hard truth is this:

Some people are dead or in prison today because they stayed loyal to the wrong circle.

Scripture warns us clearly:

“Bad company corrupts good character.” — 1 Corinthians 15:33

Outgrowing people doesn’t make you fake.

It means you’re growing.

Take a look at your circle and ask:

Are we sharpening each other?
Are we building or just surviving?
Are we accountable or just comfortable?

It’s okay to let people go.

Legacy requires discernment.

4. Financial Literacy Changed Everything

One of the greatest blessings of my later years has been learning financial literacy.

I look back at missed opportunities—investments, chances, ideas—that could’ve changed my trajectory if I had acted sooner. But at the time, I didn’t have a why.

Now I do.

My children.

And here’s the truth many people need to hear:

Starting late doesn’t mean you’re finished.

According to financial studies, many people don’t begin serious investing or wealth planning until their late 30s or 40s—yet still build stability and freedom with consistency.

The Bible says:

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.” — Proverbs 21:5

A setback doesn’t disqualify you.

It often sets you up.

The Bigger Lesson: Legacy Over Regret

At 42, I’ve learned this: