What I’ve Learned as a Man at 42: Appreciation, Support, Respect, and Peace

Turning 42 years old forces you to slow down and ask better questions—not about success alone, but about manhood.

This is Part 2 of a two-part reflection:

• Part 1: What I’ve learned being on this earth

• Part 2: What I’ve learned as a man

And what I’ve learned as a man is this:

Most men were taught how to give, but never taught how to receive—or even that it was okay to need something in return.

Growing up, I learned what I should do for others:

• Provide

• Protect

• Show up

• Sacrifice

What I didn’t learn was that men have needs too—and that those needs are not weakness, they’re foundational.

In fact, I believe the majority of men around the world are silently starving for the same four things.

1. Men Need to Be Appreciated

Appreciation is not praise.

It’s recognition of value.

When someone appreciates you, they don’t just say it—they show it.

In the marketplace, value is obvious:

• If a product is valuable, people buy it.

• If it’s not, it gets ignored.

Men are no different.

According to workplace studies, lack of appreciation is consistently ranked as one of the top reasons employees disengage or quit, even above pay. The same principle applies in homes, friendships, and relationships.

Men want to know:

• Does my effort matter?

• Am I seen?

• Am I heard?

Lip service isn’t enough.

True appreciation shows up in actions, consideration, and respect for effort.

Men are not designed to pour endlessly with no return.

The Bible affirms this:

“The laborer is worthy of his wages.” — 1 Timothy 5:18

That wage isn’t always money—it’s honor, acknowledgment, and gratitude.

We matter too.

2. Men Need to Be Supported

Support is belief made visible.

True support sometimes looks like:

• Standing with someone publicly

• Backing their idea

• Investing time or money

• Defending them when they’re not in the room

Here’s the question:

When was the last time your friends or family supported your vision?

Support isn’t automatic.

We don’t support people because of race, titles, or popularity—we support them because we believe in them.

If someone truly believes in you, they won’t hesitate to show it.

The Bible says:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9

Too many men are building alone.

Dreaming alone.

Fighting alone.

And isolation is not strength—it’s slow death.

Legacy is built with aligned support, not silent spectators.

3. Men Need to Be Respected

Respect is oxygen to a man.

You can have money, status, followers, and fame—but if you’re not respected, you are empty.

Many men are respected by their peers—yet disrespected in their own homes.

And this needs to be said plainly:

Ladies—you have incredible power over your man.

Your words can elevate him or destroy him.

• Emasculating language

• Constant belittling

• Undermining authority

• Public disrespect

These things don’t correct a man—they break him.

Social media says respect and submission are outdated or unnecessary. Yet the same people respect their boss because it affects their livelihood.

If God said it, it’s not optional.

Scripture is clear:

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” — Ephesians 5:33

Respect does not mean inferiority.

Submission does not mean silence.

Leadership does not mean abuse.

Men are called to be the covering—in prayer, protection, provision, and presence.

God gave that leadership.

No one can revoke what God assigned.

But men—hear this—we must respect ourselves first.

That may mean:

• Leaving certain friends

• Leaving certain jobs

• Putting down substances

• Walking away from environments that diminish you

“A man who has no control over himself is like a city broken into and left without walls.” — Proverbs 25:28

Respect yourself.

Walk with respect.

Live with respect.

4. Men Need Peace

Not quiet.

Not avoidance.

Peace.

The world is chaotic:

• No peace in government

• No peace in taxes

• No peace in neighborhoods

• No peace in systems

So peace must be pursued intentionally.

The Bible tells us:

“Blessed are the peacemakers.” — Matthew 5:9

Sometimes peace costs you:

• A relationship

• A position

• A title

• A lifestyle

You may need to:

• Separate

• Step down

• Walk away

• Create distance—even from family

Peace is not selfish.

Peace is survival.

“The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:7

Peace can change:

• Your health

• Your mindset

• Your finances

• Your future

When you find peace—guard it.

When you experience peace—share it.

Teach it to your children.

Model it for others.

Jesus showed us peace doesn’t mean perfection—it means a better way to live and think.

Legacy Starts with the Man in the Mirror

At 42, I’ve learned this:

Men are not emotionless machines.

We are builders, leaders, and carriers of responsibility.

But we also need:

• Appreciation

• Support

• Respect

• Peace

When a man is whole, everyone connected to him benefits.

Legacy doesn’t start with the world.

It starts with self-awareness.

It starts with obedience.

It starts with execution.

It all starts with you it all starts with me—so Let It Be Legacy.