The phrase "fall in love" is one of the most romanticized ideas in our culture. It conjures images of serendipity, emotions that sweep us off our feet, and a love that requires no effort or commitment. But when we look at love through the lens of Scripture, it becomes clear that love is not something you stumble into—it’s a choice, an intentional act of the will.
When we rely on the idea of "falling in love," we set ourselves up for disappointment. Feelings can change, and emotions are fleeting. The Bible paints a picture of love that goes far deeper than feelings. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Paul writes, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” None of these characteristics are based on emotions—they are actions and choices. Love is a daily decision to serve, honor, and cherish someone, even when it’s hard.
The same principle applies when people say, “I love you, but I’m not *in love* with you.” This phrase often reflects a misunderstanding of what love truly is. Being "in love" is usually tied to infatuation or passion—feelings that come and go. But real love is about commitment, sacrifice, and perseverance. It’s about choosing to stay and fight for your relationship, even when the butterflies fade. Marriage isn’t sustained by fleeting emotions but by the steady, deliberate choice to love your spouse every day.
This brings us to the idea that people cheat—emotionally or physically—and claim, “It just happened.” The truth is, it didn’t just happen. Cheating is the result of a series of choices. It starts with entertaining thoughts, allowing emotions to grow unchecked, and crossing boundaries one step at a time. James 1:14-15 warns us, “But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin.” Infidelity is a choice made long before the physical act occurs.
But just as people make a choice to cheat, they also make a choice to stay faithful. Faithfulness requires guarding your heart, setting boundaries, and leaning on God for strength. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Choosing to protect your marriage is a daily commitment. It’s about keeping God at the center, communicating openly with your spouse, and nurturing your relationship intentionally.
In a world that treats marriage as disposable, long-standing marriages shine as a testament to the power of love and commitment. Divorce is often seen as the easiest solution to conflict, but God calls us to a higher standard. Malachi 2:16 says, “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, “does violence to the one he should protect.” While there are biblical grounds for divorce in cases like adultery, God’s heart is always for reconciliation, healing, and restoration.
Couples who have weathered decades together will often tell you that their love didn’t “just happen.” It grew through trials, forgiveness, and unwavering commitment. They chose to stay when it would have been easier to leave. They chose to love when emotions ran dry. And they chose to honor their vows, trusting that God would sustain their marriage.
True love isn’t about falling—it’s about standing firm. It’s about choosing your partner day after day, even when it’s hard, even when it hurts. It’s about reflecting the love of Christ, who laid down His life for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). That kind of love requires sacrifice, patience, and grace. It’s not always easy, but it is always worth it.
If you’re in a relationship, ask yourself: Are you choosing to love your partner every day? Are you investing in your marriage and guarding it from harm? Love is not something that just happens—it is cultivated, nurtured, and protected.
For those struggling in their relationship, take heart. God is the ultimate source of love, and He can restore what feels broken. Pray together, seek counsel, and remember that love is a covenant, not a contract. Contracts can be broken, but covenants are sacred and enduring.
Love isn’t a feeling you fall into or out of—it’s a choice you make every day. It’s a commitment to honor, cherish, and serve your partner, reflecting the selfless love of Christ. Choose love, and watch how God transforms your relationship into something that glorifies Him and blesses you both.
Comments